Update!

I'm still alive, well, and teaching!

I have been a terrible procrastinator lately, but I have been a busy bee. I have been traveling on the weekends and even working some of the weekends. I have traveled to the DMZ and even crossed into North Korea (under the care of the US and ROK army). I have also traveled to Seoul many times, waded in the East Sea (aka, Sea of Japan), hiked up a mountain to a Buddhist temple in a cave, cried because I was too scared to go down, visited a famous lantern festival, experienced my first brown/black-out, heard air drill sirens, accidentally hiked down a mountain in heels, and debuted on the Seoul acting stage.

As usual, I have made many friends -- coworkers and even random folk from the street. I have had wonderful experiences with them, traveling, laughing, watching K-drama, sharing Clueless and hangover soup, shooting pool, and commuting on the subway.

I have not been a disciplined Korean learner, but with my new affection for K-pop and K-drama, it is only a matter of time before I know the important words of a teenage girl. Or perhaps constantly translating the tweets of my new favorite actor, Jang Geun Suk, will help. (I have every intention of buying his 2012 calendar for myself and possibly for all of my friends back home.) I digress.

I have eaten too much western food, and I am working on learning how to cook Korean food. I like most kimchi and other banchan (side dishes), but I still haven't seen any Korean tacos like Yumbii here. There are Mexican restaurants here, but close as they are, they are burdened by a lack of real sour cream and cheese.

I miss you, Catlanta, King of Pops, Yeah! Burger, Mexican food, Waffle House, Chik-Fil-A, and Georgia Brown. However, I have a popsicle kit, Kraze Burger, Tesco brand Mexican seasoning, waffles in every chain coffee shop, Popeye's, and Hite D.

South Korean deluge - The Big Picture - Boston.com

South Korean deluge - The Big Picture - Boston.com

I saw none of this in Daejeon. Amazing, I'm within a one-, maybe two-hour drive from a lot of these places and even went to Seoul that weekend, and I saw absolutely none of this.

The Simple Things

There is one thing that really aggravates me about this country. No, it's not even the alien registration card or lack of a cell phone -- I at least know there's bureaucracy behind the delays. It's the lack of damn toilet paper in the bathrooms.

This is a country where the ladies will throw cold water on you if you forget to do so yourself after sitting in the sauna, but there's rarely toilet paper to wipe yourself dry/clean. Mind you, it is ridiculously expensive to buy toilet paper here. I've seen an 8-pack for about $4, but I've also seen several varieties around $16. I have HomePlus value brand for my own use; I forgot how much I spent.

You also, if lucky enough to score toilet paper, should discard your used wads in the wastebasket beside you. Apparently the plumbing is so bad here that the toilet paper will clog the pipes. I've seen mixed reports from foreigners online. This, however, isn't really a talk I'd like to have with my new friends.

"Nice to meet you. How do you dispose of your toilet paper?"

Step one to making friends.

Also, I find it incredibly personal to have your soiled, wadded toilet paper on display. Look what I've done! is how I imagine it advertised.

I digress.

Even at school, there is no toilet paper. I usually run to the second floor before class and during breaks. It has already made for some possibly awkward conversation. I also have my American Kleenex packs, but if I don't need the soft touch, then there's no real use for it. I know that this is the case at the main branch as well, usually no toilet paper. However! I know that a giant roll exists with the receptionist, and I'm sure there's a good reason. I just don't know what it is, nor do I know how to ask about it.

My first day, I asked the head instructor, shyly about the lack of TP in the women's facilities. He offered to get me some from the men's, but my guess is, there's none.

Some facilities have a communal roll when you walk in; I was familiar with this concept back in Prague's 5kc metro bathrooms. This makes sense: simple upkeep and clean booties.

I'm even okay with the communal, ubiquitous bathroom bar soap. Even when it's attached to the wall by pole. There is soap, and if you scrub hard enough, you'll be clean.

There must be some historical reason for the lack and expense of toilet paper. Possibly to do with the bidet, but honestly, while I understand the appeal of rinsing clean, the issue is still with the dry off. I just don't understand.

please say to me / you'll let me hold your hand / now let me hold your hand / I needa hold your hand

The problem with moving to a new country is the utter helplessness you experience as you adjust. It's not just culture shock in my case -- which is a factor for sure.

What is really getting to me is the inability to do anything on my own, and not because I don't want to be Miss Independent. I'd like to have my own cell phone and bank account and even Home Plus family card. The only reason I have internet is because my kind neighbors have unsecured networks.

I also need to stop bitching about not knowing Korean and get my ass in gear.

Korea has some seemingly strange laws regarding cell phones, their contracts, etc. I cannot buy a cell phone until I get my alien registration card (ARC) and upon getting my ARC, I am not likely to be lucky enough to score a year-long contract. What's worse, or just a pain, is that I am not likely to get a fancy, technologically-savvy Asian cell phone without the contract.

It might be easier to buy an iPhone from the States, ship it here, then jailbreak it, then visit a vendor rather than waiting the estimated four weeks remaining, then hoping I can even get a cell phone.

But - my saving grace has been having an old cell phone registered to an American back in America that can receive free calls or texts. As I've started to make friends, it's been a big help in arranging gatherings.

However, the only way I can initiate communication is by one of the following: borrowing another phone, Facebook messaging a new friend to text the other new friend to call me, staring at Facebook chat, or staring at the phone, willing it to ring. (Hey, it worked tonight!)

I have never spent so much time on Facebook chat -- or Facebook itself for that matter.

I know that it's horribly annoying, but all of my new friends have been wonderfully accommodating and understanding of the situation. Most people are just amazed that I have access to a phone! ("You already have a phone?" they ask. No, not quite.) One of these friends explained it as my being the younger sister who needs constant checking up on.

I wish it weren't true.

I need directions everywhere still, help telling a taxi where to take me, help hopping in the sauna with other naked ladies (for another day), help ordering in a restaurant, help playing darts in a bar.

But what really got me today, and nearly resulted in a total utter breakdown in the Daejeon metro, was the overbearing and unnecessary attention when simply going on my daily commute to work. It seems ridiculous and pointless, and possibly complete ingratitude on my part, but charging a metro card is one of the few things I can do without my hand held.

I know how subway systems work. Buses, I'll admit, I'm rubbish. MARTA's damn near useless, but I had no trouble in Seoul, I had no trouble in Prague, I had no trouble in Newcastle (other than making sure I never got caught without paying), and I certainly had no trouble in London. I admit to having trouble in Budapest, but I paid my fine, learned my lesson, and spent most of my time there walking instead. Daejeon's metro is a walk in the park: one line, no varying fees, signs and recharging machines in English. Cake.

So when I took my It's Daejeon T-Money card with me to the turnstile and it didn't greet me with "kamsahamnida," I only got confused when the red arrow turned to the blue circle. But as the guard just looked angry, not helpful, I walked back to the recharging machine. I put my card under the reader, and then the old station guard started helping me. But he started pressing buttons in Korean. I pressed the English button with an apologetic smile, as the old man called over the original guard. Who then took my card to the window, kept talking to me in Korean, and insisted that I charge my card at the window. I had everything under control myself. I just didn't realize I had only W300 left. He took my money, took way too long confirming that yes, I did want my entire manwon (W10,000 -- $10) on the card.

I missed my train by seconds.

Surprise! I've moved to Korea!

(South, of course. Neither KJI nor Billy C are in my close circle of friends yet, but we'll see how that goes.)

When?
A fortnight ago: 18 June

But, Sheila, why would you want to go there?
To teach English! It's one of the most practical applications of my degree, and Korea provides some of the best opportunities/compensation for teaching English abroad.

What about North Korea?
If the Koreans aren't worried about it, then I won't be either. However, there are gas masks and emergency kits in all of the subways. I've been told not to be alarmed when I hear the air raid drill sirens. They seem to be prepared.

Do you know Korean?
No. I've not made many strides to learn it yet, but, really, you gotta respect a language that gives its alphabet a national holiday. For now, my phrasebook and fingers are going to have to do.

Is it safe?
Yes! There's so little crime here. In fact, while trying to find data to prove this point, I found that I'm more likely to share a cell with an embezzler or (software) pirate than an axe murderer. Besides, back at home I've seen cars stolen from my backyard, been burgled on a Sunday afternoon by a man in a welding mask, fondled by a bum on North Ave while en route to class, chased a potential hit-and-run on the highway, and been robbed at gun point. And I actually fared better than many of my other friends. I'm sure Korea's just fine.

So ... Seoul, right?
Nope, an hour south in Daejeon. Just like England =/ London, Korea =/ Seoul.

Where will you live?! Do they even have running water?!
My school has put me up in an officetel, or a live-and-work studio apartment. They pay my housing; I pay utilities and maintenance.

But what will you do without a car?!
Left foot, right foot. The subway might be comparable to MARTA in that it doesn't take you everywhere, but since it was built only about four years ago, it takes you to the major attractions. There's only one line so far, and there are plans for four more. Taxis are ridiculously cheap here and sometimes, split among friends, cheaper than the subway.

How will you meet people?
I actually chose the school I did because it's actually quite large. I figured the school would come with built-in friends. I actually do have friends in various other parts of the country, and I met some cool people at my training in Seoul. I've already made a few!

What about your stuff back home?
My sister has my car, Marie has my cello, and PYT has Jimi. The stuff is in a climate-controlled storage unit.

You're going to be out of the country for Independence Day!
I know, and I'm actually really excited about it. :)

I am flawed if I'm not free

I love being single. Eventually I'll slip back into wanting a regular sleeping buddy and man to domesticate myself for, but I have enjoyed the past two (of the three) months of singledom.

For example, I can take my CHI straightener out of hiding under my bed and be proud that I own two fancy hair straighteners and actually prefer the one from the mall salesman.

I do not feel guilty for buying two purses (from Marshall's, mind you), nor do I feel guilty for the amazing yellow leather wallet, either. It was the third purse that made me guilty, and I decided it wasn't nearly as nice or necessary as the first two.

I also like listening to chick rock, singing loud to it, jumping about my apartment like a spastic dancer, and fully taking advantage of my half-deaf neighbor and fully revenging two years of that damn baby on the other side. You never would have guessed the only class I've ever failed was aural skills listening to my vocal abilities. Never.

I don't like that I never cook for one or that I fall asleep to Hulu more than anything.

But I am only just now turning on my library of Les Miserables soundtracks and relearning how much I love playing my darling communist cello named Mao and how Jenny Lewis's lyrics will always strike true and how great and how exciting I can be and how that yes, I can do what I want to in life and can do anything I want.

Except move. I honestly would rather burn everything than pack, donate, or sell anything.

Will, I am American.

I am such an American. I’m not sure if I have felt my American roots so much in the past two years since I saw my president speak in the center of Europe. (Of course, then his visit the natives of a time before the Velvet Revolution.)

Yes, I am talking about my current (re-)obsession with the British family. House of Windsor on my DVR, The Tudors and The Young Victoria both recently devoured through my Netflix queue, and just saw The King’s Speech.

As an American, I can’t help but have a fascination for the British Royal Family. I’ve come about long after our innate hatred of their imperial hold on us and the world, so I can fondly look across the pond to respect the historic lineage. Our presidents are great and all, but you can rig elections, and they’re always changing. Isn’t there comfort in knowing the monarch(y) is always there? Of course, like I said, I’m American; therefore, I love my democracy.

And I love knowing your princes’ love lives. I put them over Hollywood happenings.

I can’t help love the complete impracticality of the monarchy. I mean, really, Parliament does most everything, doesn’t it? While I know that there is strong opposition to the institution, I can’t help but insist that the British should embrace what they have and what the world, or just America, admires. What would happen to your church without its leader? I’ve read that my tourist dollars actually more than balance what their taxes provide. While I never fantasized of becoming a princess or dating a real prince (especially after attending an English university devoid of aristocracy), I can’t deny the fantastical desire to stand in the presence of someone with Divine Right.

As an American, I have been part of a culture that has fought against the notion for over two hundred years. And now I watch every period drama I possibly can.