Thanks, Chester.

For the past month, I've been prescribing to a nutritional plan made popular by one Dr. Atkins, and today I have made an amazing discovery: Cheeto Puffs have one carb per puff.

What does this mean? If I don't steal your ice cream or fruit, I can still have Cheetos!

(And it is beside the point that fruit is bad and Cheetos are okay. This is a diet where bacon can be encouraged and I still lose weight.)